When a recruiter is underperforming, they often get defensive, rude, abrasive, sometimes pointing out your shortcomings, blaming everyone else, and finding every excuse not to take ownership. It’s tough, especially if you’re a new manager.

We asked some of our top managers what’s helped them survive (and actually make a difference)  and this is what they told us in no particular order:

1. DON’T GET DEFENSIVE BACK
Your first instinct will be to fight fire with fire. Don’t. Step back, breathe, and listen.

2. ASK MORE QUESTIONS
What happened? Why? How? When? Who else is involved?
Questions help you understand what’s really going on and shift the conversation from blame to clarity.

3. THINK “SIX STAGES OF GRIEF”
Performance conversations often follow this pattern:
Denial → Anger → Bargaining → Depression → Acceptance
You can’t coach someone who’s still in denial. Your job is to help them move through the stages so they reach accountability.

4. CALL BS WHEN YOU NEED TO
If they’re being factually wrong, say it. But make sure you’re walking the walk. You can’t tell them to make calls or attend meetings if you’re not doing it yourself. Credibility is everything.

5. BALANCE TOUGH WITH EMPATHY
Remember their wins, highlight their strengths, let them vent  but don’t lose sight of expectations. Confidence + accountability is the sweet spot.

6. TRAINING AND DEVELOPMENT IS YOUR SECRET WEAPON
Look at how you’re supporting your team to upskill. There are so many tools now like LinkedIn Learning, AI-based platforms, microlearning, skills analysis. Bite-sized, targeted learning can be helpful. 

7. MIX UP YOUR APPROACH
Don’t do the same rigid Monday or Friday pipeline review every week. Try quick morning catch-ups, informal chats, or different ways of tracking progress. Keeping it fresh keeps them engaged. Take a look at the traditional KPIs and build on them – check out our other blog on secondary KPIs

8. CELEBRATE WINS, HOWEVER SMALL
Even little wins matter. Acknowledge them. It builds momentum and shows them progress is possible.

LAST POINT
Nothing kills credibility faster than telling a recruiter to “go meet people” when you’re not out there yourself. In this market, managers need to be client-facing too. If your team calls you out on it, they may actually be right.